Today I was remembering my mom, and really missing her. It just hits me in the pit of my stomach sometimes that I can’t pick up the phone and call her anymore. I can’t count the times I’ve thought “I need to tell mom this!” Only to remember I can’t. It’s the saddest, most empty feeling. I realize I am still going through a grieving process and that takes time.
I remember one really hard day when mom was so sick, I prayed and cried to God asking,”WHY are we even here!?!?” It was so terrible and I just didn’t think I could take much more of the painful moments and sadness. The answer I heard was “relationships, relationships, relationships.” I sat with that. It opened my eyes and made me look deeper into my daily life and at the people around me. I’ve always loved people and tried hard to go out of my way for them, but this was different somehow. It reminded me of why I’m here, why I do what I do.
I always wanted a career that made me feel like I was making a difference. I prayed for it and got it. My job is so much more than photos…for me it’s about relationships, connecting with the people I work with and hopefully making an impression on them and helping them enjoy life just a little more.
I think I will always miss my mom, but memories of the experience remind me just how powerful love and compassion are. Going out of your way to help just because. This is the kind of person I want to be every day, now and for the rest of my life.